tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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