My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
