Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize