Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
