you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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