I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
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All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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