hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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