Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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