I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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