FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
