uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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