ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.