sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME