But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
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It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
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He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I look excited, but its just a facade.