Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.