I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together