Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.