Do you still have your period?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When are your genitals available?