piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?