Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.