are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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