Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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