there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
