forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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