my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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