im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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