Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
