Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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