She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
