Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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