My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
