maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
