I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
