she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.