youre lurking in front of me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
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Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
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Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with