Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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