I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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