were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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