I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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