think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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