she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize