i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is Oprah even human
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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