this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Enjoy the penises
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
