I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Who did Billy Mays play for?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single