Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Boobs speak an international language.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants