Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Some milfs here doing some blow
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.