escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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