At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
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I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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