I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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