So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
