She is in my trunk
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Quick, to the slutcave!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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