Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
