Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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