the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
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NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
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That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.