Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I accidentally had phone sex last night

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  (651): I accidentally had phone sex last night http://tfl.nu/0rrd
  Replies (6) Good night (1667) Bad night (624)
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  (925): View more from California

  he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look

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  (925): he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look http://tfl.nu/dco3
  Replies (34) Good night (921) Bad night (2596)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.

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  (541): im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine. http://tfl.nu/y6yn
  Replies (10) Good night (4156) Bad night (751)
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  (646): View more from New York

  he just put it in my mouth and said "go"

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  (646): he just put it in my mouth and said "go" http://tfl.nu/nvzb
  Replies (64) Good night (2686) Bad night (5359)
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  (510): View more from California

  I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.

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  (510): I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/ez0g
  Replies (13) Good night (8852) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him

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  (719): So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him http://tfl.nu/i94e
  Replies (21) Good night (782) Bad night (6160)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  It smells like ranch

  (925): View more from California

  Must be all the white people

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  (925): It smells like ranch (925): Must be all the white people http://tfl.nu/51vw
  Replies (52) Good night (5674) Bad night (2088)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka

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  (630): you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka http://tfl.nu/av0z
  Replies (8) Good night (1579) Bad night (2356)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i just like, need to vent to someone

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?

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  (910): i just like, need to vent to someone (919): Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you? http://tfl.nu/t3kk
  Replies (14) Good night (2850) Bad night (2031)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.

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  (817): It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart. http://tfl.nu/sgc5
  Replies (19) Good night (2468) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.

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  (706): He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories. http://tfl.nu/ce15
  Replies (15) Good night (2235) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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  (970): I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh. http://tfl.nu/93er
  Replies (9) Good night (1868) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?

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  (954): I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it? http://tfl.nu/xt0t
  Replies (1) Good night (913) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point

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  (828): It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point http://tfl.nu/65lu
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?

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  (613): Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower? http://tfl.nu/hj3e
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (757)

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