Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Can Purell be used as lube?

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  (512): Can Purell be used as lube? http://tfl.nu/e9pj
  Replies (37) Good night (702) Bad night (4064)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?

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  (660): Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test? http://tfl.nu/cwr3
  Replies (7) Good night (5109) Bad night (1074)
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  (310): View more from California

  i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic

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  (310): i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic http://tfl.nu/3sfg
  Replies (5) Good night (3113) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.

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  (203): Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder. http://tfl.nu/zfbm
  Replies (12) Good night (3035) Bad night (690)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.

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  (217): And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night. http://tfl.nu/dztw
  Replies (3) Good night (1782) Bad night (1245)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.

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  (773): Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you. http://tfl.nu/9snq
  Replies (11) Good night (683) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ... That's a shower caddy.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.

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  (541): You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever! (503): ... That's a shower caddy. (541): I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation. http://tfl.nu/svbx
  Replies (11) Good night (3380) Bad night (725)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer

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  (248): I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer http://tfl.nu/yuzp
  Replies (3) Good night (1149) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.

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  (801): fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering. http://tfl.nu/0c1c
  Replies (6) Good night (941) Bad night (451)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.

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  (423): What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face. http://tfl.nu/y7fo
  Replies (5) Good night (592) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...

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  (859): I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud... http://tfl.nu/ip6k
  Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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  (573): Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals http://tfl.nu/3npx
  Replies (5) Good night (801) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.

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  (314): Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame. http://tfl.nu/omwv
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Gotcha. How bad is it?

  (631): View more from New York

  Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon

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  (516): Gotcha. How bad is it? (631): Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon http://tfl.nu/6gkd
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."

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  (313): This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow." http://tfl.nu/pm0e
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (228)

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