Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

didnt we say no more talking to eachother

(906): View more from Michigan

it will help you get over me i promise

(414): View more from Wisconsin

im horny

(906): View more from Michigan

ok i will unlock the door

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(906): didnt we say no more talking to eachother (906): it will help you get over me i promise (414): im horny (906): ok i will unlock the door http://tfl.nu/m6ae

Replies (16) Good night (2608) Bad night (620)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"

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(859): i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me" http://tfl.nu/l7cf

Replies (130) Good night (8585) Bad night (3139)
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(714): View more from California

im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?

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(714): im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join? http://tfl.nu/idc6

Replies (16) Good night (4585) Bad night (1204)
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(925): View more from California

He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.

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(925): He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there. http://tfl.nu/tyej

Replies (14) Good night (4046) Bad night (903)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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(973): not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down http://tfl.nu/e11q

Replies (6) Good night (4189) Bad night (1150)
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(210): View more from Texas

he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me

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(210): he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me http://tfl.nu/5qy1

Replies (25) Good night (1079) Bad night (8365)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.

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(519): You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone. http://tfl.nu/p7fo

Replies (3) Good night (1342) Bad night (616)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.

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(410): Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity. http://tfl.nu/9x3b

Replies (7) Good night (608) Bad night (1340)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park

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(202): No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park http://tfl.nu/eb3c

Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (607)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!

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(218): WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!! http://tfl.nu/3vs3

Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (428)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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(+44): As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW http://tfl.nu/48d7

Replies (8) Good night (773) Bad night (406)
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(914): View more from New York

I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood

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(914): I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood http://tfl.nu/gm6c

Replies (7) Good night (692) Bad night (361)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I almost fell asleep reading that.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I almost fell asleep fucking it.

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(405): No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora. (405): I almost fell asleep reading that. (405): I almost fell asleep fucking it. http://tfl.nu/v47a

Replies (5) Good night (508) Bad night (955)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.

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(609): I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs. http://tfl.nu/0efw

Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (273)
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(289): View more from Ontario

You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!

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(289): You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed! http://tfl.nu/yyc5

Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (198)

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