piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
