I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
