i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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