how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Quick, to the slutcave!
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize