i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What a dumb baby whore.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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