Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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