so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize