Apparently you make a good broom.
I have demons in me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize